Thursday, January 27, 2011


- Disclaimer- The point of this post is not to get compliments, or false motivation to do well. This post is simply my thought process of what I am doing with my life.

I have been all sorts of confused and stressed lately. Poor Tyler gets to deal with it.

It was a year ago that I was up at Utah State going into education and really enjoying the prospects of being a teacher. I enjoyed the subject I was studying but I don't think that it was the right field of study for me. I didn't feel like a had the skill set necessary to succeed in teaching that subject... I loved photography and learning more about it, and ultimately that is the main reason I switched schools. I had the drive to excel!

So, now here I am at UVU going into digital media, and I honestly feel so under qualified. I have a passion for photography, and love learning everything I can about it. I want to continue to learn more, and really become a great photographer. I love talking about it, and explaining how it all works.

But... I am looking at the work that I have done thus far, and yeah sure it's good but I don't know if I have the talent necessary to achieve the goals that I have set before myself. I have the passion to push me there. But- I am looking at myself, and my work and really wondering if I have what it takes. I look at my photos from two years ago and there is no question that I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was before but is that enough. I don't put myself in the category of, "wow, look at her photos; she is great."

I knew that when I switched to this career it was far from stable, and so that is another consideration I have been thinking about.... I have thought about going into education to get my teaching certificate because I think it would be so much fun to teach photography and hopefully spark a passion for photography in someone else.

Thoughts though- How would I go about doing that? Would I be qualified (I do NOT want to be one of those teachers that fit under the category of "those who can't do, teach") Also, how much more school would I have to go through to become a teacher? Is that really what I want to do, or am I just using it as a copout?

So, school-work-goals-photography-life are all spinning around in my head. I have my main goals of having a family, and having that as my main priority but how do I work in all of my goals together? How do I make it all come together with the idea of eventually becoming a mom.. hmmm

I am a bit lost in a lot of things. I need to find the motivation to figure it out, and move forward with my life confidently! Now, where to find it!?


Michelle said...

Its really good that you have written down your though process. Sometimes that helps to figure things out! Good luck on figuring out what to do! You are an amazing woman!

Betsy Lee said...

At some point in time I considered myself a photographer. A buddy photographer, actually. But somewhere along the way doubt of my abilities crept in and put the camera down. DO NOT let your doubt of your abilities let you deviate from your dream of becoming an incredible photographer! It's GOOD that you're feeling inadequate because that means you have an idea of where you want to go, and the difference of whether you get there or not will be in whether you decide to use that feeling to push yourself to become that person you want to be, or whether you step off of the path because you feel like you won't get there. The beauty of photography is that it can easily work into your plans of the future and having a family. You've already grown leaps and bounds from where you were a year ago and it would be a shame for you to stop now and prevent yourself from becoming that much better because of a fear of not being able to get there. Baby steps, Alishia. Baby steps. You'll get there!!! Don't give up!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I hadn't.

Amanda Leigh said...

Girl! You are great! You will figure out whatever your suppose to do. It took me a while to but now it totally makes sense and I love it! Just keep your head up but you already know that! love ya!

DeAnna said...

Listen to Betsy...don't expect to be perfect all the time and don't expect to get better if you quit. The stuff you see for sale is one of probably THOUSANDS of pictures that a photographer has taken that didn't make the cut. You can do it, the biggest difference between the guy at the top and the guy at the bottom it confidence and determination.

Beckutie said...

Betsy said it best! All great comments. Don't give up!! It's not always raw talent that makes the great ones great. IN fact...a lot of time those that have the natural ability don't give it their all because hey - they're a natural.
You are a great photographer now, but I bet if you asked any of your mentors they will tell you that they too have come leaps and bounds from when they were in school.
Love you Lu.

Loraine said...

I agree with Betsy and the others. Keep it up, you are doing great. Don't forget what Heber J. Grant said about persisting until you have mastered it (very paraphrased). Anyway, that old saying about those who can't teach - - is not always true. Where would we be without passionate, talented teachers? Maybe one of those baby steps to think about - - down the road. Don't worry, you'll know what to do. Keep going.

Loraine said...

P.S. I love your red blog - - so appropriate for February. Very cute.